A Declaration to The World
Bolding declaring to the world my dreams and my intentions for my life...after this there is no going back!
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With the trees bare and the cold winter wind banging at the door, nature seems to will us into hibernation. This time of year seems to support us in going inside to sweep the cobwebs away and make space for something new to grow. As the rain beats down and the long nights draw in, we contemplate our dreams for the year ahead and set our intentions.
So it is on this cold January evening 2020 that I begin this process of contemplation and reflection. And considering that this is the start of not just a new year but a new decade, I feel like it’s the perfect moment to go a little further than the usual new years’ resolutions and really dig deep.
Big Questions
So I ask myself:
What are my deepest, most sacred dreams?
What is the most beautiful and worthwhile thing that I can give this life to?
What is my purpose?
A New Chapter
To tell you the truth, this is something that I have been giving serious thought to over the last few months.
Ever since my conversation with the mystic astrologer Ishtar, my life has been on fast-forward. I feel like I have been catapulted into a new chapter of my life that I seriously have no map for, my only guidance being the fire in my heart that is pushing me along even though I have no idea where exactly I am going.
As I dive into this well, my purpose gets ever clearer. Since I have started to admit to myself what I really want, what my truest priorities really are, my life has taken on a whole new level of intensity. A new, outrageous and glorious fire has started to rage inside and its will is unstoppable!
My most secret and seemingly impossible dreams are coming alive and the more attention I dare to give them, the bigger and clearer they get.
Suddenly, my life has got a whole new meaning and direction and it all seems brilliant and scary and amazing!
What it is exactly what I need to do, I’m not entirely sure. There is no concrete or tangible goal as such, just a beautiful vision and a burning desire to make it a reality.
What I know is this:
- I am going back to the land.
- I am going to build some kind of off-grid, sustainable life and share this with others.
- I am going to learn all about permaculture and ancient organic farming practices.
- I am going to learn about bio-diversity and eco-systems.
- I am going to grow my own food and learn how to ‘homestead’.
- I am going to learn about and connect with the Earth and her natural rhythms and cycles, including those of the moon and the planets.
- I am going to learn about herbs, and flowers and natural medicines.
- I am going to be part of a community of people at a local level who all share the same vision.
- I am going to share this with the rest of the world as part of the global community.
- I know that I need this for my own healing.
- I know that this is my calling.
- I know that that is the only life for me worth living.
Am I going crazy?
Maybe this sounds crazy to you. It sounds crazy to me. I can hear the cynical voice now in my ear telling me that I should just delete this whole post and just go and make a cup of tea and calm down. It goes a little bit like this:
“Mystic astrologers and sacred dreams? She’s one of these new-age hippies!”
“Healing? What the heck is that? She’s been abroad for too long, she has!”
“Going back to the land? There’s no job security in that! She needs to think about her career and get herself a proper job. No more larking around making blogs and talking about dreams!”
“She needs a reality check, she does! Everyone knows you can’t make a living in the countryside anymore!”
The voice has a suspiciously Lancashire accent which leads me to believe that this voice is actually my own fear, which would prefer me to stay small, safe and sensible.
But do you know what?
I don’t give a crap!
As I said in my last post, we’ve got to keep our eye on the ball!
I’m not going to be around forever!
I have a limited amount of years on this Earth. I have a limited amount of time to make dreams a reality. I will be 32 this year- how long can I put off doing the thing I really want to do?
After coming this far, there is no way that I can turn back.
Anything less, would simply just not be worth it. Without trying to sound melodramatic, for me, this is a matter of life or death.
Cherry Blossom, Retiro Park, Madrid Photo by me
Not in a literal sense obviously. I’m not going to keel over one day because I’ve decided against it all and got myself a flat in the city. I’ve had a great life so far in Madrid- why would that change?
However, the idea of not following this calling and opting to live a ‘normal’ life is just unthinkable. I would simply prefer not to be here.
What would be the point of being here on this planet if I am not doing the thing that I came here to do? I would be like an imposter in my own skin.
Anything else would be a betrayal of my own self.
Plus, I have already had a taste of what can happen if I don’t put this energy into action…
A Return from India
After coming back from an intense and wonderful trip to India this summer I had so much fire and energy to throw into this project. But for a while I didn’t really do much with it, I just talked about it but didn’t really do anything.
Then for a week or so, the surge of beautiful energy that I had been experiencing started to shrivel up.
All the positivity and drive disappeared and I felt totally disconnected from everything and everyone. Including myself. It was a strange feeling that I hadn’t felt before. We all know what it’s like to feel down from time to time, but this was different. I felt like a ghost walking through my own life.
As the energy shrivelled up, I started to shrivel up.
Luckily, it only lasted a week! As soon as I rolled up my sleeves and took some action (writing my first blog post), I came back to life! Suddenly all the colour came back, as did all the passion, energy and drive of before.
But this experience taught me an important lesson. If we don’t feed and nurture our dreams, then like a plant, they start to wilt and die and that means part of us dies with them.
So who knows, maybe I would keel over that bit sooner if I didn’t heed this call!
Joy
But this is by no means any kind of personal sacrifice.
When I am doing something that is closely in line with my purpose and my dream, something inside comes alive. My heart sings and every cell in my body is filled with energy and love. That mystical fire of enthusiasm lights me up and takes me beyond my normal limits of what I think is possible. And I feel overflowing with joy and love!
Even as I write these words, I’m feeling deep contentment. Even if no one reads them, it doesn´t matter! What matters is that I am here, doing my part, one step at a time.
And so dear reader, with you as my witness I enter into the following contract with life:
Contract of life
I, Olivia Grundy, joyfully declare that I am going to dedicate my life, my energy, and all my love to creating a beautiful space in nature to share with others that reflects my innermost values of respect for the Earth and all her living creatures.
I vow that in this endeavour I will tread lightly on the Earth and live in a sustainable way that supports the eco-systems of which I am a part.
I promise to share the knowledge and experience that I gain with the world for the greater good of all beings and future generations.
I give myself in abandon to the purpose of my own soul.
I hereby give my life in service to the more beautiful world that my heart knows is possible.
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Hi Olivia,
A very inspiring story! Sharing is caring. This is all new to me, but actually I am building an off grid house in Benissa, I’m also writing a blog about. Not as inspiring and philosophic as yours, but you might find some practical information.
It did not start as an idealistic dream; I bought the plot, and got into the off grid idea because There are no connection. Only then I got really inspired and eventually want to create a homestead.
Good luck, I’ll be following your story!
Best, Guy
Thanks so much for the comment Guy! Caring is sharing you´re right 😀 I had a look at your blog and I would say that it is very inspiring indeed and would encourage anyone who is interested in moving to Spain or starting an off-grid life to have a look! I will also be following your story, best of luck!